


Moongazer

by manubibi



Category: To The Moon (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Game Spoilers, Internal Monologue, Missing Scene, My First Work in This Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:25:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manubibi/pseuds/manubibi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Very, very brief ficlet with Johnny's last thoughts. Spoilers for the whole game, so if you haven't played it please do, don't read if you haven't. Seriously, it's very spoiler-heavy even though it's little more than 500 words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moongazer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [altairattorney](https://archiveofourown.org/users/altairattorney/gifts), [Kuruccha-IT (Kuruccha)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuruccha/gifts).



I can see the sky looks so bright and clear, tonight, from this bed. Right, River? You can see that whole canvas dotted with stars better than me and I bet there are no clouds to hide ourselves from each other. They really _do_ look like lighthouses, the stars. All those little dots so far from us, are they looking back? Are you?  
Right now, memories from a lot of time ago flood back into my mind and for some reason it's from when you were folding paper cranes in the shape of rabbits. It almost makes me laugh a little, how you probably cursed me for not being able to listen to you, when I could have. I imagine you folding those cranes, while huffing and puffing at me who was too... dull to remind myself the important things. I can imagine you thinking something like, "is he stupid? The rabbits! Look at the rabbits! Don't you remember that night when we promised to never get separated? Just... look at the gosh damned rabbits!"  
But I kept asking what they meant, not what they were because I thought that was obvious. I could have asked better questions, I could have stopped struggling with your illness and I could have accepted your choices without second-guessing them, but you understand that they hurt. I was seeing you slip away bit after bit and I could do nothing about it. Nothing! And I think at one point I thought... I suppose I thought you were raving. And I suppose you sensed it too and felt as frustrated as I did. I do imagine you were angry at me, or were you angry at our situation too?  
Regardless, you kept hoping that one time I would remember, didn't you? Had it been me, I would have yelled, but you were not me, I guess. You hoped and waited and had faith in me until the last moment. I am sorry I disappointed you. I am sorry I got what you were trying to say way a bit too late. But I am here now, right? I took good care of Anya, every night I wish she could talk to you the way I could not. It must be lonely, up there, after all. I hope you can look past my little wretched mistakes and love me anyway. I am going to listen, next time, when you try to tell me something, I promise.  
So, pretty lady over there, are we going to meet on the rabbit's belly then? It is covered with holes and signs of time, and even though a small portion of it is obscured by our planet's shadow, I can still perfectly _see_ the ears, and the shape of that rabbit, just the way we drew them back then with our small fingers across the black sky. Even though my eyes are closed. Are you there, waiting for me? I'm getting ready, so be there. Because if you are, all you need to do is wave your hands and call my name. I'm coming, River, so just wait for me a little bit more. We'll find each other again as we promised, when these nice young people will finally take me to the moon. I'm just a little late to our date... I'll make it up to you, okay?

**Author's Note:**

> So this was for maridichallenge's Clash of the Writing Titans, an Italian challenge. The prompts for this week were "lighthouse" and "change", so of course under Kuruccha's suggestion I had to write about this game even though I feel very shy about posting it because I'm really scared of messing it up and I feel like I'm not good enough for it. That's how much I loved it! So anyway, that's it. I considered writing from River's point of view but I'm not sure I could, so I used the most relatable character (to me, anyway).   
> Maybe sometime I'll write about Eva and Neil aka the other OTP! :D   
> So anyway, I'm gifting it to Ely and Elena cuz the former is my inspiration for a lot of fics and the first one I yelled about this game with, the latter because she gave me the idea. AND YOU'RE BOTH SO KIND AND AWESOME AND SUCH GOOD WRITERS TO BOOT AHHHH <3


End file.
